This world so often imposes on us the ugliness & wickedness which we should perceive as a beautiful & good. My dad told me once – while we take care of Holy Communion and Confession then our conscience is sensitive on any dirt. He compared a crystal clear water in a glass with the contaminated drops. When they get into – although one – it will be visible in this glass. We can discern the things in a state of grace and see better what’s good.
I couldn’t understand why we call many things as lovely and fine when they are not lovely and fine? Why so many times we comprehend a modernity as a rejecting of God. I recognize these differences more than before. It’s really so hard to weigh what’s ugly? Why we accept the evil so easily but we deny so confidently what truly comes from God? Do we want to preserve a spiritual beauty and the Truth? What else is sad; that we grab the world delusions so greedily. I still try to reject the things which cover the sensitivity on the real beauty. It’s easy to put in the soul just anything. I’ve started to care what I watch, read or listen – understood that it’s so important. I started to appreciate all things costing me a lot ’cause of Christ. It only seems that we can buy so many things. I was very disappointed ’cause I couldn’t buy the happiness. I can see my own imperfections but I missed out too many things at life. I struggle to direct myself – what is truly worth in this world. I focus on the ordinary stuff.